For Love of a Son
by cccourtc
Summary: Lily's thoughts from finding out Harry's gender to her last moments.


I do not own Harry Potter

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May 15th, 1979

The moment he was announced by the Healer, I knew that I would do anything for him. He was my baby, my Harry. I never told James but having Harry made me see that I had made the right choice. I let go of all regrets at that moment and forgave my old friend Severus. Without his mistakes, Harry would never have come to be. My sweet innocent child, I can't wait to see you grow, watching your triumphs and failures. I hope to be there through it all, a wise advisor to my son. James has never been prouder or happier. Sirius seems even more mischievous if that was possible. Peter seems nervous beyond all belief, almost as if he fears something will happen. Remus stands out as the calmest of the marauders. Remus has been such a help to James and I, even with his 'furry little problem' as James so eloquently puts it. I love the child growing inside me with all my heart. I vow that I will do anything it takes to give Harry a life to live and enjoy, even if I can only be there in spirit. This is my solemn oath as a mother.

August 1, 1980

The birth was more than expected, but it was all worth it. As agreed, Sirius was named godfather. If his howls are anything to go by, Sirius is jumping for joy. I swear if he hurts Harry in his excitement, I will get out of this bed and strangle him. Looking into my sons eyes, a perfect match to my own, I can only imagine how life will be like for him. I pray to Merlin to he is nothing like his father and his friends. I heard Alice had a child yesterday. I'm sure our sons will be the best of friends and hope that his influence will ensure that Harry is a good boy that doesn't get into trouble or too much detention. Already James and Sirius are making plans to teach Harry all about pranks and planning on getting a toy broomstick to beat the 'slimy snakes'.

July 10th, 1981

Albus came with news. He has heard word of a prophecy that my apply to our son. Due to a spy, it is highly likely Voldemort will come after us to kill our child before he can grow to defeat him. Voldemort will never take my child from me! We'll go into hiding under the Fidelius Charm. Sirius shall be our secret keeper. I am sure that he will never reveal our location. Watching Harry grow bigger day by day I can't imagine my life without him. Hearing him call me Mummy is the greatest joy I have ever felt. I was reading a book about old charms the other day. If all goes wrong, I will sacrifice myself for the sake of my child, because I am a mother and it is my job to give my child a life no matter the cost.

July 31st, 1981

Harry's first birthday was a small affair since we were hiding. I wish that Alice and her little Neville could be here. Albus told us that they were hidden as well. I can only hope that for Harry's next birthday we will be out of hiding and the rest of the Order can come too. Surely Voldemort will be defeated by then. Sirius and James were joking and laughing while Remus sat watching smiling at their antics. It must be hard for him. The full moon was two weeks ago and he is still suspected as being a spy. It remains solidly in my mind that he is loyal to the Order and my family. Peter is away on family business. He seems away more often lately. I wonder what he is up to. I'll hold that thought for later because today is Harry's day. I will focus all my attention to my son because it is his special day, the day my baby turned one.

October 5th, 1981

Sirius came to us. He fears that Voldemort and his followers will go after him because he is known as the closest to us. We have switched to Peter. I know it shames James to admit it, but he fears Remus is the spy because it is reported Voldemort has gained the werewolves as allies. I think it is ridiculous, but I will go along with it because Peter is not as noticeable. Peter is perfect because they will never suspect such a weak-willed man to hold the secret of our location. I worry about the burden we have placed on Peter. He seems to be drifting further from us as days go by, his friendship with James weakening. I hope he will bear the pressure and keep us safe. Our lives rest on him.

October 31st, 1981

No! Voldemort has found us! James is dead and I know that we are soon to follow. I place Harry in the crib one last time and kiss his forehead. My time is coming to and end, but at least my son will live past this night. I beg the evil man. Not Harry! Take me instead! He grows impatient and says those dreaded words. Avada Kedavra. I die knowing that my last act will protect my son. Harry will never know the extent of my love, but it shall be held in his very being. I know I will see him again one day, in the far future. That will be when I can hold him again and tell him how much I love him. My love shall live on in my son, for I gave up my life so that he could live.


End file.
